Hope...and other four letter words

Hope....seek...pray....those little four letter words.

I've been doing a lot of hoping, seeking, praying and waiting..for many years now.
Someone should really take the two words "overnight success" out of the English language because it's really not true..at least not in my case.

When I think of four letter words..they're usually the ones my Mother would threaten to wash my mouth out for saying..you know the one's I'm talking about?? I have to admit..sometimes they pop out in the middle of a crisis..I'm human.. what can I say? At least I'm honest about it.

But during my Bible reading lately.....I realized that God has his own set of four letter words like love, hope, pray and seek...and ..WAIT. But-- His words give me a five letter word "peace".
Yes, I do worry and fret ( another four letter word) but everytime those feelings well up in my stomach..I remember His words.."I have a plan for you" , "is anything too big for Me?"..and it brings me peace. (I wonder if He chuckled when He said "is anything too big for Me?" ..because if I were Him, I would have laughed at that one..you know..being the CREATOR of the universe and all!)

Bryan and I have sailed through some pretty big storms in our time together..many of them were not even ours but we were right there with our loved ones..hanging on until it passed.
Right now, there are many people who are in the middle of their own "storm"..earthquake victims, flood survivors, people living with cancer, soldiers on the front line, people I meet in the check out line at Fred's...people every where I look who , like me, need some "Jesus with skin on" and a whole lot of that first little four letter word in red at the top of the page.

Just some random thoughts from this Mississippi girl looking for the gold at the end of her rainbow...for now, I'll just keep on "hoping, seeking, and praying"....and you do, too!

Blessings,
JGW

*photo by Noelle George..thank you for sharing your picture with me.

He is with you

"There's a time to live and a time to die..
there's a time to laugh and a time to cry.
There's a time for war and a time for peace.
There's a hand to hold in the worst of these.

He is with you when your faith is dead,
and you can't even get out of bed.
Or your husband doesn't kiss you anymore
He is with you when your baby is gone and
your house is still and your heart's a stone
cryin' God what did you do that for?
He is with you.

There's a time for yes and a time for no,
There's a time to be angry and a time to let go.
There's a time to run and a time to face it.
There is love to see you through all of this.

He is with you in the conference room
when the world is coming down on you
and your wife and kids don't know you anymore
and He is with you in the ICU when the doctor's don't know what to do.
And it scares you to the core,
He is with you

We may weep for a time,
but joy will come in the morning
The morning light.

He is with you when your kids are grown
when there's too much space and you feel alone
and you're worried if you got it right or wrong.
Yes, He is with you when you've given up on ever finding your true love
someone who feels like home,
He is with you.

When nothing else is left
and you take your final breath,
He is with you."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2WRjwgsOdo

I heard this song by Mandisa Friday morning on the way to work...and it was like someone had been spying on me.

Sometimes the prayer's we praying do not get answered as quickly as we would like or in the way we would hope...and it can make you feel like "where is God while I'm going through all of this? I need God with skin on down here to show me what's going on!!!"
And for someone who works in :30 second intervals all day at work..that "waiting" thing does not go over well.

Wouldn't it be nice if praying worked like emails? Pray, send, get the response as soon as it lands in God's email, He clicks reply...hopefully with the answer you want and then you're on your way. BUT IT DOESN'T..we have to learn patience...trust..and all that makes us lean on Him instead of ourselves.

I don't like waiting...for anything..seriously..example: just a week ago I got a tip about a HUGE breaking story an hour before we hit the air..but had to get confirmation from several sources before I could run with it..20 or so phone calls later and about 30 minutes of sweet talking sources for more info..it was confirmed and then it was a race to beat the competition. I threw the facts together into a script of some sort, chunked off my shoes under my desk, ran down the hall , threw it at the anchor during the live 5 show, ran back down the hall and slid inside the booth , took over someone else's show, all while they're in the middle of a live shot for a different story..within 15 seconds..we had a plan and we hit the air..beating the competition by 15 minutes! whew!!! It was aweseome!

But God doesn't work on breaking news time frame..what I see is right now..He sees the entire picture and He's not budging on my requests..not even an inch..I'm "here"..trying to get "there"..but He's not moving me..and so it feels like I'm stuck in neutral. And no matter how many opportunities have come my way, He keeps closing doors..and it sometimes it feels like I'm alone or He's left. And I've been telling him about it, too. Asking Him to draw me nearer so I can be more like Him and feel His presence..and then my devotions come in and they're loud and clear: "wait on the Lord"...W-A-I-T..that qualifies as a four letter word in my book!!!

And then He sends me Mandisa singing "He is with you"..soooooooooooo, I'll keep praying, and waiting, and hoping and remembering "He is with ME"....and you, too.

Blessings,
Janie

Be Anxious for nothing...........

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus." - Phillipians 4:6-7

Bella kitty is at complete peace, sleeping soundly stretched across my lap...anxious for nothing.

I snapped a photo of her while she was doing this last week and when I looked at the photo, arms out, legs out, completely at peace..I thought: this is how God wants me to be..not worried about things...at peace stretched out in His lap. Bella doesn't wonder where her next meal will come from or for that matter she doesn't wonder about any needs..because she relies on us to take care of her..and we do..along with Molly and Alex.

But, I'm not a cat and I'm fully aware of everything going on around me and I get anxious. Where and when will I get the "dream" job? How to keep Bryan safe and healthy while he manages work and school? Are our parents alright?

Life is complicated for humans... cats get to lay around, play, purr, get petted ..and have no idea that everything comes with responsibility. Would I like to trade places with Bella? hmmmmm.... NO! I don't want to be a cat! But I would like to lay around, play, purr, get petted whenever I look cute!!! ha! ha! And that no anxious thing..Wow! That's a biggie! How do you do that? I mean, really? Is there anyone out there that has that mastered? I have a PhD in anxiousness.

Yes, we chose to leave the comfort of our "old" life for a new one but it has been a lot harder than I ever imagined. I've had glimpses of how it can be..but there are forces beyond my control that stop things from happening as quickly as I had hoped. And I am not a person who likes to wait..life is short. That's what started all of this...not wanting to waste time floating through life but actually living it ..feeling it...breathing it in deeply..every minute of it..but right now I feel like I'm marking time..anxiously waiting for the next door to open..and no matter how hard I try..it remains closed. So, I get more anxious..

Which brings me to this verse I have written in the back of my Bible. Trying to live it and not just let it be words on a page..Be anxious for nothing ( I'm working on it, minute by minute)making my requests know with thanksgiving ( thankful for Jesus, family/friends, home, shelter, food, job, life) (requesting:happy/healthy family& friends, reporter job)..and waiting for God's peace to guard my heart and mind while I wait for Him to answer...

So I guess for now, I'll TRY and be more like Bella and Be.... Anxious ..for nothing...

Blessings,

Janie

Goodbye 2009...Hello 2010!

In just a couple of hours, 2009 will be a memory and 2010 will be here.
2010 happens to be the title of one of my all-time favorite movies: "2010: The year we make contact"..
If Bryan and I were to make a movie about our life in 2010..it would be called "2010: we finally made it!"
As I reflect back on what 2009 brought us..it's hard to believe we survived.
We've had so many blessings and trials...
Pastor Adrian Rogers once said "life is like a train track..the good and the bad happen at the same time, sometimes..." he was right.
While Bryan and I had some very good times..we also had some very trying times. The biggest I can think of is when Bryan got sick and I was terrified. Afraid I would lose the love of my life, my rock, my shield, and my hero. But God was gracious and healed him...it was a slow recovery but none the less He healed him.
It made me really think about what "could" have happened...and how scary it is to be sick in the hospital. Since then I've been careful to be mindful of the blessings that have been given to us and pray for the sick..every day.
Other things happened too, like the week of 7 flat tires..which coincided with the final rehearsals for the Living Christmas tree..true story.

Several good things happened, too....our parents are enjoying good health, mother celebrated her 85th birthday and moved into a home on a beautiful street in Tuscumbia, Bella came to live with us..(although sometimes I'm not sure if she should actually go on the trial side ha!)...we've enjoyed many laughs with our friends.

Plus..

We were never hungry,

never cold,

or without clothes,

and we had jobs to go to every day.

And, the promise that God loves us and despite all the trials of 2009...He is alive and in control..and has many wonderful plans in store for all of us in 2010!!!
So, hello 2010...you're going to be the best one yet!
Blessings to all,
Janie

‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV)

A ripped sleeve and a flying cat.........

So...you think your day was crazy...just wait.

Here's a glimpse into one day at the Wallace house..just a glimpse..the total view would scare you to death!



Thursday morning I wake up with a cat sitting on my head..literally.

Her dad has left for work and locked her in the bedroom with me to prevent her from murdering our Christmas tree. Bella decides she can not wait for the 8:30 am alarm I have set and so instead she creeps up the side of the bed and ever so gently crawls on top of my head. So, the first thing I see when my eyes open is blackness..furry, purring blackness.

So, I get up and we kiss good morning..I'm thinking.."she's in a good mood today..great! Maybe she won't attack me or the tree before I head off to work." WRONG.

We get up ..I release Bella from the bedroom/cat prison and we head out to the kitchen for breakfast. I have cheerios..which I am forced to share with her because if I don't she will just cram her head into the bowl and then nobody's happy. So, I eat a spoonful..she gets one cheerio..repeat...until bowl is empty..then she finishes the milk .

After that, I get ready to work out. Now, normally..when I work out..Bella does too. By that I mean, when I do push ups...she's busy biting my hands..when I do my lunges, she bites my feet...when I lift weights..she unties my shoes..so she's reallly getting quite a work out. BUT, today..she ignored me for the most part. I should have known then that something was up..she was plotting.

I had thrown a load of laundry in to wash up some things and after my work out..I went out to get the things I needed for work. When I took out my top..the entire left sleeve had come unsewn..from the top to the bottom..only the thread that used to hold the sleeve together was still hanging from the shirt.

So..I'm hot from working out and hot that my shirt is ripped and I have 5 minutes to fix it. I go inside to locate the sewing kit..Bella follows me around the house..I'm thinking "5 minutes..I can fix this hit the shower and still make it to work on time..she's thinking "5 minutes..I can tear her and this place apart and still catch a nap!" And that's when it started.



As I was bent over in the floor looking in the side table drawer...I never saw what hit me..it was a complete blur..it went something like "SWISH!! BAM!! FLUMP!!!" It only took about 3 seconds and it was over..but it was awful.

What happened was this: Bella bolted into the den seeing the open drawer as a springboard to the curtains...she leapt up on the drawer...jumped onto the curtain...reached up and grabbed the mini blind and fell back into the drawer with the blinds on top of her and then hit the floor..the blinds then crashed on to the floor beside me! I was so frightened that she was dead..I didn't even spank her. She was too stunned to be frightened..I just grabbed her and held her for a couple of minutes while we both tried to calm down.



So, then I hung the blinds back up and she's watching me..thinking "ah ha! You may have won this time blinds..but I'll be back!"



I eventually found the sewing kit..sewed up my sleeve ..locked up the cat in the prison..and made it to work. It's a miracle either one of us are alive. I told you a glimpse was enough..



P.S.

Tonight when I talked to Bryan..she was on top of the refrigerator..purring..and refusing to come down.

Giving Thanks

Wow! What an awesome Thanksgiving! We got to go home and see our folks and enjoy time with them and some wonderful, delicious food. Then on Saturday, we did it all again with Bryan's entire family. We are so blessed!





Over the holiday, it occured to me that I haven't been as thankful as I should be.


Lots of changes coming our way this next year and none of it would be possible without an entire support team: our family. Everyone we saw on Thanksgiving has in some way helped Bryan and me the past 6 1/2 years. From sending food, hiding money in the refrigerator..(true story!) , giving us cars, to just being there on the other end of the phone when things get crazy!
There have also been many friends who have done some very special things to help us and for that we are so grateful.




As we were leaving Tuscumbia, we did what we always do..drove through our old neighborhood and looked at our old house. It was the first and only home we have owned. Since then we've been renting..now knowing where we would land next so it's just been easier to do.


And as we were driving through our old neighborhood..we saw a for sale sign in our yard.


I would have loved to jump out and gone "back home" for just a few minutes anyway.


BUT...it's just not where we belong right now. Bryan quickly reminded me of that. When we decided to get "new lives" it unfortunately came with a big price: we had to give up our "old life" and leave all our family behind ...at home. I have felt like a woman without a country so to speak the last 6 1/2 years. Living in limbo stinks! I know..home is where your heart is..and mine is certainly with Bryan. But..we are so ready to be finished with this part and have a place to call home. 358 days left until he finishes..and then we'll be headed somewhere else.





As this year winds down and a new one moves on to the horizon..I wonder what it holds?


I pray for health and happiness for all our family and friends. Of course, I'm also praying for jobs that will allow us to make a difference and live our dreams.





But, as I get ready to enter the "final" year of the journey..I'm reminded that I should be so thankful.


Thankful for Jesus dying for me and for God's unconditional love,


For faith,


For Bryan,


For our family,


For friends,


For my 3 little furry kids,


For health,


For a warm place to sleep, nutritious food, functioning cars, warm clothes,


For a job,


For hope and dreams of something better.





AND, if you're reading this, I would be so thankful for your prayers.





God Bless you and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!





Janie

He is able...25 years later..

"Like peering through a window blurred with rain,

emotions run together in a flood of doubt and pain.

We've prayed as best we can.

Now we must leave it in his hands.

Yet, I know when my eyes fail to see,

He is able.

And even though it seems impossible to me,

He is able.

But if He chooses not to move in the way we prayed He would,

I'm confident he's working all together for my good.

I will stand behind his word, for He is able.



Questions seem to haunt us night and day.

How could God allow my heart to be torn this way?

Does He listen when I call?

Is He even there at all?

Yet I know when my eyes fail to see,

He is able.

And even though it seems impossible to me,

He is able.

But if he chooses not to move in the way we prayed He would,

I'm confident He's working all together for my good.

I will stand behind his word, for He is able.



And as the night gives way to dawning and evaporates away,

I'll stand to face another day.

And I will stand behind His word for He is able.

He is able, HE IS ABLE!"

-Deborah Klassen



I had the honor of singing this tonight at FBC Montgomery.

"He is able" has been in my repertoire since it first became available on a soundtrack.

First it was on a cassette and truthfully, it finally wore out from so many performances.

I have loved it ever since I first heard it. And have really missed singing it.



When it comes to selecting a song to sing, there's no magic forumula...it's whatever speaks to me at the time.

Tonight after church, several people my age and a little older, came up to me and said something I found interesting.

They recognized it from being among some of Truth's pieces. Before I tell you what they said..a little background.

For those of you who may not know, Truth was a contemporary christian group based out of Mobile, led by Roger Breland.

I saw them perform live twice and I still remember those performances to this day.

Later, when I was part of "Sounds of Joy" at Northeast Jr. College , we sang several of their songs in our concerts. Even took those pieces on our mission trip to Hawaii. Some of their most popular songs included "Jesus Never Fails"and "Undivided". There are many more but too many to list here.



Back to the folks response tonight. They all said the exact same thing..even though they all came up at different times.."Wow! I had forgotten about that song. You know, Truth's music really got me through some tough times".



I know how they feel. That's why I turned to that song time after time. And..it still rings true today 25 years later after Deborah Klassen wrote it.



When I started trying to buy another copy, it was no where on the internet.

Then I saw somewhere on facebook a post about Truth soundtracks.

It said if you'll contact RBreland he still has a lot of those songs and they can be purchased from him.

So, I gave it a try..and it worked. Made my day.



If you've read any of my previous posts, you're aware of what Bryan and I are working on right now. And I'll be honest with you..there are many, many times I've wanted to throw up my hands and say "I quit"! Bryan asked me today.."If you knew how hard this would end up being, do you think you would have still done it?" My response "NO!" Now, I was only kidding, but I'm so glad God doesn't let us see what's ahead..even though sometimes I really wish He would.



I can't see what's ahead..and there are times the present is so "blurry"..like the window with rain.

Can't understand why things are the way they are..wishing they would quickly change and we would be where we want to be RIGHT NOW!

But God doesn't work that way. And I've learned..time and time again...that if "He chooses not to move in the way we prayed He would, I'm confident He's working all together for my good".



I can remember example after example of what I wanted not being half as good as what God had in store. But not being patient has often caused me much heartache. And at one point, almost cost me my life. But, God is truly amazing. In one incident, when I got things straightened out, God welcomed me right back into His loving arms. I compare it to..travelling down the interstate and taking the wrong exit ( MY choice) and when I realized it was not HIS will but mine, I turned around and got back on the right road. Make sense?

So, I'll keep on praying for my dreams to come true and praying they'll line up with God's. And even though "even though it seems impossible to me, He is able." Blessings, Janie

Ephesians 3:20-21
20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.